Airbrushing ourselves away

Take a look at that pic of me – Twiggy I am not, and never have been. All my life I have fought a battle with a thyroid problem that means I have to take a replacement dose, and the fact I love my food. I thought I had come to terms with the shape I was, but two TV programmes this evening showed me very clearly that I haven’t. I am in the same position as the vast majority of women, not just in the UK, but in most of the western culture, hating all or some part of our bodies because it doesn’t conform to what the media think it should look like.

The first programme was the first episode of a new series ‘British Style Genius’. It brought back a lot of memories of my teenage years, both good and bad. I was still a ‘normal’ size then, although not as skinny overall as fashion demanded I should be, and I was not able to wear some of the iconic clothes of the era from shops like Biba and Quorum which did from time to time cause tears.

I would have hoped that after all these years and the huge growth in eating disorders amongst young girls that the media and women themselves would have seen sense and accepted that human beings simply come in different shapes.

Regrettably today’s designers and model agencies, despite pressure even from Downing Street are still making and showing clothes that most of us can only ever aspire to wear. What is fundamentally wrong is that so many clothes are intentionally designed to look good on a size 8 with no thought about how they might adapt for a size 18 and very few designers even care. I recall a couple of years ago, hearing a top designer, saying that he would not even consider designing a range for larger women, if we couldn’t diet to be size 10 we didn’t deserve nice clothes.

I despaired when even the designer responsible for the M&S Per Una range, supposedly for ‘real’ women was still choosing the clothes shapes on the basis that they looked good on skinnies. I noticed that one of the M&S store managers that featured in the programme was more similar to me in size and also that the clothes SHE was wearing did not look like they came from the Per Una range she was supposed to be selling.

Definitely the most beautiful dress of the evening was a 1920’s vintage evening gown that had been updated with some 21st century crystal appliqué. But it was a size 10 at the most, more probably a size 8. Wallis Simpson would have looked fantastic in it. Remember what she said ‘You can never be too rich or too thin’.

Later in the evening singer Alesha Dixon – the winner of Strictly Come Dancing 2007 - was on a mission to get a top magazine to photograph her for a cover and NOT re-touch it. Most of the titles that women would associate with fashion and beauty turned her down flat. So did men’s titles like Heat and Nuts who strangely insisted that their readers wanted ‘normal women they could relate to’ - sorry, normal and untouched doesn’t equate with boobs like balloons. Finally the Mirror Sunday supplement agreed to do it. She looked fantastic of course, but they couldn’t leave it alone and ran a feature inside showing what bits they WOULD have re-touched.

She also interviewed someone from the toiletries and cosmetic range Dove who have made a big thing of featuring ‘real’ women in their recent advertising. I am right behind the sentiment, although I can’t say I use the products because they don’t also carry the cruelty-free label I insist on.

What literally made me weep with anger, frustration and nausea was the shots of 18 year old Ellie having a breast implant operation. Yes, it is her choice, but when the media makes women so unhappy about their bodies they will go through that kind of butchery we HAVE to call a halt. I sincerely hope that it has put a lot of women off such horrible self-mutilation.

The ordinary women that Alesha spoke to in the street were absolutely clear that what THEY wanted for the next generation is for them to be happy with their natural selves, whatever shape colour and size that happens to be.

I would ask for just two things. When I go into M&S or any other store, I can find clothes in size 18 and 20 that really ARE that size and are also not made exclusively for someone a foot taller than me. Why can’t trading standards say that if a garment is supposed to fit someone with a size 40 bust it actually does. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have to go a size up in Next and Top Shop – even presuming I could find ANYTHING at all in those places to fit me.

Just because we CAN digitally wipe out wrinkles,crows feet and re-spray Sharon Stone’s face to make her look 20 rather than 50, doesn’t mean that we should. I am still not really sure who wants this unreality. It’s good to have something beautiful to aspire to but it should never be so intrusive that it makes us despairing or miserable and at the worst, suicidal about what we really are. Anorexia and bulimia ARE forms of self abuse and ultimately suicide and the media have to co-operate in ensuring that they become history by not encouraging us to worship the unattainable.

Alesha was extraordinarily brave to challenge the same media mob that have helped make her famous and deserves congratulations.

Nuisance calls from British Gas

My phone has rung twice this morning - 1471 indicates that the caller was the same both times.

A little research reveals that it is British Gas. Now they were my gas supplier when I first moved here, and at a previous house they were my electricity supplier. In addition my late Mum was their customer for both.

In the months that I was dealing with her estate, I had repeated calls from them asking me to settle her last bill. I told them I could not do so until I got probate. Time after time they called and I said why don't you have a note on the account, this is when I expect probate to be granted. It happened, they were paid and they continued to pester me.

I had the same problem after I sold my previous house. The last bill was paid and I supplied proof and they insisted that money was still owing. Finally I switched suppliers and simply told them when they called that they had made a mistake and I was not their customer.

The latest batch of calls, however are not billing. I discovered through a very useful website that the number is a sales one and they are trying to get me to switch back. I don't have caller display on my home phone, but beginning to think its a good idea.

The website is useful for calls like this and also if you are left with a non-geographic number and asked to call back. Don't do it. Find out who it is here and save yourself some money. Also if you only have an 0870/08450 number for a company, look them up and see if you can get a 'real' number.

If British Gas call me just once more today, I have all the information I need to report the calls as harassment from this site's forum.

http://www.saynoto0870.com/

Angry with life and death

It's been a sad weekend. A friend who has been suffering from cancer passed away suddenly after an infection caused heart failure. Why her, I thought and not me. I'm not a mother or a grandmother or even a wife now. (I'm separated).

But after a day or two of weeping for her loss, and her family's sadness, I realise that what I am REALLY angry about is that there is no definite cure. She had chemo and radiotherapy in her 3 cancer episodes, but although it gave her more time with her family and friends, it was not a permanent cure.

So what I am asking my readers to do is this. I'm going to be adding some links on this blog to some places where you can help by giving to research to FIND that cure and preventatives and for some of you, perhaps even to share your own story.

For Dee and her family, please help. Thanks.

Thank you Justy Boy

Today, UK Prime Minister Gordon Bown has managed to re-arrange a group of people who were already pretty useless at their jobs into positions where their inability to control either the economy or anything else will be even more visible. And to make it worse, he didn't get rid of the Dim Prawn. Perhaps she is under his desk making sure he stays healthy.

My mate Justin from the pub quiz in the Wheelwrights, Havant, sent me this recently. It seemed rather appropriate so I thought I would post it today as a little light relief from ranting.


A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving.

Suddenly a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks,'What's going on?'

Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Alistair
Darling, David Miliband and Jack Straw.

?They're asking for a £10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to
douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car,
taking up a collection.'

The driver asks, 'How much is everyone giving, on average?'

'Most people are giving about a gallon.'

Relaunching the 'Angry Button'

I've been meaning to do this relaunch for a week or two - ever since I started my other blog in fact.

Don't think for a minute I haven't been angry all this time! I just haven't communicated it. then someone I talked to suggested it might actually be therapeutic.

Now there are things in my personal life which make me VERY angry which I shall not be covering here. People, events and injustices that have forced me to bottle up for far more than the year since I first blogged here.

However blogging about other things I encounter in daily life in the UK that annoy me just might help to ease some of the stresses overall.

So, what has got under my skin today?

I do mystery shopping, I get jobs from a couple of agencies that send me to banks, shops, petrol stations or even to websites. They give me a list of things to ask or do and I get paid. Not a lot, its true and I suspect that their clients pay them a lot more than I get. Another story for another day.

Today, my assignment took me to Chichester which is a really nice shopping centre, with plenty of parking spaces in car parks run by the local council. You would think that an hour in one car park would cost the same as an hour in another one, given that they are all much the same distance walk from the central pedestrian precinct. WRONG. Some are £0.80 per hour, some are £0.50 per hour.

What is worse NONE of them give you change. This is a trait repeated in car parks closer to home in Havant and Emsworth. Forgive me guys but I think this is a form of legalised theft. If it's 80p and I only have a one pound coin, why can't I have extra minutes up to the value of the money I put in?

I can understand that a machine giving change might not be feasible in outside locations, but giving me the minutes I PAID FOR is a matter of simple electronics. Alternatively put a phone number on the machine and let me call it from my mobile to pay for my parking. Use your imagination and stop ripping us off. You know we mostly pay for more time than we ever use anyway.

Let's say I paid for an hour and 15 minutes with my £1 coin. I might well have visited one of Chichester's many cafes or pubs or gone in a few more shops and brought more trade and money to the city. Instead of which I dashed back to my car to ensure that the 'nasty brigade' of parking attendants didn't get to me and give me a ticket.